Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize