when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
