you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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