im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
