Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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