at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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