Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
