Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That accounts for only three of the penises
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
