Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Randomize
