So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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