Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
