whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
