Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
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it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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