Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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