idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
