Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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