Plan B is the new Plan A
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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