If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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