so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
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Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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