He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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