I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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