Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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