Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
