5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize