i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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