exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
