I am in a vortex of obligation.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
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Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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