No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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