Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
