Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
