I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
