No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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