Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
