he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
