dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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