I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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