What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
