why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
