Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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