Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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