I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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