Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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