so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize