i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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