dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
