he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
