dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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