you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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