I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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