So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
