you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
