You really coming over, don't trick.
Dual....:-)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
