Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You may now shotgun with the bride
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
