I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize