drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
