BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
