He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
