; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
