I will die if light touches me.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
