I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It's Friday. Sex?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
