Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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