I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
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